save you
by silly wounds
Summary: i'm not scared of dying. i'm scared of leaving you." Oneshot, Lilly/Joe // dedicated to Mina


_a/n: this is a bit of a continuation of "my rock". hope you all enjoy it :) anddd this is dedicated to my amazing friend MINA. ily. _

--

**save you**

_by: xxnothingtolose _

Her lips were a pale purple. Her head was visibly scarred now that her hair had fallen off. Her eyelids were so white they were almost translucent. Her hand felt like a fragile bird; if you squeezed it too hard, it would break. It had been like this for a week now; Him staying by her side every minute of every day, scared that if he left, she would slip into darkness.

"_I'm not scared of dying," She told him, holding his hand, "I'm scared of leaving here. Earth," She looked down, "I'm scared of leaving you."_

He wanted her to wake. He wanted to spend every moment possible with her but she was more than exhausted.

"_This is it," The doctor explained, "This is the end for her."_

His heart squeezed at the though. How could he lose her so quickly? It seemed like yesterday he had worked up the courage to ask her on a single date to dinner and a movie. Their relationship had only grown the last seven years. Falling in love, getting engaged, then married, getting pregnant, having an unfortunate miscarriage, then this. Her dying – Leaving him – Because of an incurable disease.

"Joe?" She whispered softly. He turned around to look at her.

"Hey beautiful."

She smiled lightly and sat up, "Joe, I know I'm not beautiful. Not without my hair anyways. You don't have to lie to me because you love me." She said lightly trailing her hand down his cheek.

"But you are," He went up to sit beside her, "To be honest, it wasn't really your hair that was my favorite feature of yours. It was your eyes."

Her smile spread into a grin as she closed them. "What color are they then, huh?"

He smiled along with her, "In the sun, they're a really light blue, just like the ocean. When it's darker, they're still blue, but they look almost like a pale green. When you're upset, they darken and turn into a blue – ish grey."

She opened the eyes he had described so perfectly amazed. "How did you _know_ that?"

"I told you, they were my favorite feature. What did you expect me to do? Ignore them?"

She smiled and a small giggle irrupted out of her throat just as the doctor walked in.

"Feeling good Lilly?" He has politely walking over to a machine that was attached to Lilly's body by a wire and talking some notes on a clip board he had.

She nodded back, "It's about a four and a half today." She replied indicating her pain on a scale.

The doctor smiled, "Coincidence that when we let your husband stay with you 24/7, you pain automatically went down, huh?"

"I don't think about it when he's here." She smiled. He nodded then turned to Joe.

"Could I talk to you outside Mr. Jonas? Lilly's mother, sister, and friends are outside also." He said, indicating towards the door. Joe nodded and got out of the bed.

"I'll be right back." He told her following the doctor.

She pulled out a scrap book that Miley had brought her when she had first been put into the hospital. It had everything in it. She started at the beginning again, looking at the picture single picture of her mom on the back of the cover. It had the words "Guardian Angel" on top of her mom's blond hair with a picture of Lilly herself and her sister Jillian (In black and white) hugging and laughing when they were about five or six.

The first page had a picture of Lilly on her first day of school with Heather (Her mother) and Jillian behind her. Lilly was wearing loafers (Yes, loafers), a pink sweater with the Disney princess' on it (Her favorite to this day – Sleeping Beauty, Belle, Cinderella, and Ariel), and gray sweat pants _(a/n: this was the outfit __**i**__ wore for my kindergarten class picture xD)_. Her eyes were slightly squinted because of the sun beating down on them. A small caption beside that in Jillian's hand writing said _"What the hell were you wearing Lilly?! Oh, look how cute I was!" _Under that, her mom had written _"You were absolutely adorable Lillian. That little girl is still in you somewhere. I love you." _She smiled and in silver Sharpie, she wrote _"I loved that sweater Jillian! And thanks mom. She's still in me right now, bursting out." _

When it was her time to go, she would leave this here, knowing someone would find it and her mom, Jillian, Miley, and Joe would all look at it seeing the side notes each other them had written.

--

"Well, let's just say that if she continues to go as she is, she doesn't have very long." Dr. Jacobson explained solemnly.

A sob escaped Heather's mouth as her hand flew to cover it. Miley froze staring at the doctor in disbelief. Jillian closed her eyes and shook her head continuously. Nick and Kevin both glanced at each other sighing, then at Joe. His leg's looked like they were going to give out under him any second. He shakily looked over at Lilly. She was looking at something and smiling…She probably knew.

"Is there any possible way we can save her?"

"She needs a kidney. Lilly's has just stopped working completely and that's mostly what's causing what's happening with her body right now." Dr. Jacobson said to the group.

"She doesn't have a match. We have her on numerous lists around the world." Heather concluded.

"What about one of us? What if we gave blood or whatever you do?" Joe asked the doctor. He raised his eyebrows,

"That's possible Mr. Jonas but if one of you _is_ a perfect match, you'll be limited. You have to be more careful when you're doing things. It'll be hard to play sports, and in your case, perform. I'm not saying you can't perform if you are a match, but none of the flips or running across the stage continuously. When you're sick, you must come to the doctor's, not just take some Tylenol and be done with is."

Joe nodded, "Sounds fine to me. When's a good time?"

--

"What were you talking about out there?" Lilly asked when Joe returned. Miley was sitting on a chair with Jillian sitting on the arm of it. Heather was sitting across the room from Lilly and the Jonas family was spread across the room on counters, benches, and leaning on walls.

"Lilly…You know you don't have long, right?" Joe asked her rubbing her cheek lightly.

"Joseph!" Mrs. Jonas exclaimed.

"It's alright Denise. I know." She replied simply looking at Miley, Jillian, and her mother. Miley smiled sadly at her. She looked back at Joe, "You didn't answer my question sweetie."

"We…Well, Lilly, we're all going to get tested to see if one of us is your match." He explained.

"Joe! No! You guys, you guys can't." Lilly objected.

"Calm down baby," Heather soothed rubbing her arm, "We're all willingly doing this. We want to save you."

"But-"

"Shut up." Both Jillian and Miley cut in. The three girls burst out laughing. Heather smiled and resumed to her seat watching her daughters.

The little visit they had paid already tired Lilly out. She placed her head back onto the pillow and closed one eye, pulling Joe towards her. He moved closer in so she was almost curled into him.

"We're going to do it whether you like it or not Lil. Deal with it." Jillian stated.

"You're going to 'do it'?" Lilly asked jokingly, raising her eyebrows. Jillian glared at Lilly even though a smile was on her face.

"Nice choice of words Jill." Miley commented.

"Really guys? You're 21. Must you be so immature?"

"Yes." Lilly and Miley both replied.

--

Jillian and Miley were sitting on the two ends of the hospital bed talking about Joe and Nick as Joe, Nick, and Kevin themselves walked quickly into the room.

"Lil! Miley! Jillian!" Joe exclaimed.

"What-"

"I'm a match! Lilly, I'm a match!!" Joe exclaimed. Lilly stared at him in shock.

"You're…You're what?"

"How can you be a match? I'm not even a match and I'm her sister!"

"I have no idea. But that doesn't matter does it? You're going to live Lilly."

--

"Where's Joe?" Lilly asked as Jillian painted her nails turquoise while Miley as painting the other nails pink.

"I think he's going into the surgery right now. Taking out a kidney…Scary stuff." Miley said.

"Oh."

"He said bye to you, right?" Jillian asked.

"Course he did." Lilly smiled, "I still can't believe he's doing this for me."

Jillian and Miley both raised their eye brows and looked at Lilly. Miley spoke first,

"Lilly, you have Joe wrapped around your finger. Not in a bad way or anything, but he loves you more than anything on this planet. He's jump off a cliff for you."

"Gosh, I wish _I_ had someone that perfect." Jillian said leaning back in her chair.

Lilly smiled realizing how lucky she truly was. If the transplant didn't work…If she died before they got to do the operation, she would still be thankful. She'd lived an amazing life despite the disease and the miscarriage. Any girl would ask for what she had; someone who loved her despite every single one of her flaws.

--

Lilly awoke in pure pain. Today, it was a 10.

Rain was pelting the roof of the hospital. Big fat raindrops slid down the window and onto the ledge. Grey clouds filled the sky. The weather matched her mood – Depressed, upset…**lonely**.

Nobody was with her today. They weren't allowed. Today was the day of her surgery. Everything was a bit more rushed because she had gotten worse throughout the past week. But she didn't think she could do it; Go in there alone.

What if she didn't make it? What if she died during the surgery? She wasn't ready to say good bye yet and she realized that it had been a lie. She was scared-er then ever to die.

--

"No! No, no, NO!!" She screamed. Tears were streaming down her pale cheeks now. She was using more energy then she had in months. Her arms were flailing as she tried on to grab anything she could to hold her back while Jillian and Miley attempted to grab her arms so she wouldn't break anything.

"Lillian! _**Stop it!!**_" Her mom demanded fiercely.

"I'm not going in there!! I can't. I can't…" She started to calm down and began to whimper. Her lips quivered and fatter tear drops rolled down her cheek.

"I can't. I can't. I can't." She whispered to herself continuously.

Everyone looked at each other around the room exchanging glances.

"I'll get Joe." Miley finally said.

"Babe, what's wrong?" Joe asked a few seconds later, his voice full of concern.

"I can't." She whispered again.

"Lilly, you can. Remember what I said?" Joe looked her straight in the eyes and finally, a smile erupted from her lips.

"Yeah. The two of us against the world."

--

_a/n; not my best, i know, but I start to get a little bored of a story or oneshot after about 1500 words ;) _


End file.
